What I Wish My Coach Knew

In any relationship, personal or professional, power dynamics are always at play. One partner might naturally take the lead, speak more confidently, or drive decisions. That’s not inherently a problem. But in a Visionary and Integrator duo, the imbalance is often built into the structure.

Vision comes from the top. And if the Visionary holds the “owner card,” it’s their vision being executed, their name on the wall, and their final call that wins. Even in the healthiest teams, that dynamic creates an unspoken tension. The Integrator is always one tough conversation away from being replaced. That reality, whether spoken or not, makes it harder to challenge, to pause, to say no.

These dynamics aren’t always aggressive or obvious. In fact, they’re usually subtle.

 It sounds like:

“Let’s not get bogged down in the details.” 

“You must have misunderstood.” 

“That’s not how I recall the conversation.”

“I think you’re taking this a bit personally.”

It feels like emotional whiplash, when the person you’re trying to support shifts tone, blames stress, and leaves you questioning your own judgment.

As Integrators, we tend to internalize this. We second-guess ourselves. We take on too much. We spin, trying to explain, fix, or justify. We lose trust in our instincts.

What I Wish My Coach Knew

I wish my coach had taken my concerns seriously. Instead, our sessions often centered around protecting the Visionary from discomfort, making sure he didn’t feel too “on the spot” or blamed.

But avoiding direct feedback is not the same as lacking capacity. And by steering around his behavioral patterns, my coach unintentionally validated them.

She missed the opportunity to name the dynamic. To help him grow in self-awareness. To help me stop questioning my reality. What I needed wasn’t coddling for him, it was clarity for both of us. 

Is Your Coach Empowering You or Enabling the Cycle?
A great coach doesn’t take sides. But they also don’t turn a blind eye to imbalance.

So I’ll ask you this:
Does your coach empower you?
Do they call out the dynamics or play into them?

Because awareness without accountability
is just another version of illusion.